Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
