In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
