Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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