I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ok first of all what the fuck
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
