I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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