Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize