Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
