dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
