Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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