what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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