Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
