i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
