i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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