We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
