you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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