My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
