Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
