The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
