i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
please come you make the beer taste better
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
