just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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