rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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