Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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