Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Every concussion has its silver lining
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
