why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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