took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
