a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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