When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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