Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
