Its about making memories worth repressing
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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