My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
