Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
