Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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