Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
