Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
