you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
