And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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