Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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