I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
