i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
