the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
