Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize