Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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