hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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