it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
