Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
