I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
