so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
did you just send me my own nude
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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