Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
