bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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