the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
