I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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