have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
