Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
