I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
