im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
