So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
