i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Randomize
