It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
