I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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