Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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